Gonna need SPF 50+ on Wednesday.

I don’t want this to turn into some Sydney v’s Melbourne like contest about who can claim to be Australia’s hottest town. That title belongs to Marble Bar in WA. But it must be said that the weather we are experiencing lately is unprecedented. Having spent the last ten years living in Canberra, and complaining annually about the bitter winters, I confess this summer heat is knocking me around.  

We are currently on our 40th consecutive day of temperatures above 35˚C (95˚F) and looking down the barrel of another week of temperatures in the low 40’s (104+). It’s not all bad though. In fact, there a quite a few positives when it comes to living in an oven. Here’s five ways that a heat wave can improve your household budget:

  1. Turn off the hot water service. You won’t need it; boiling water comes straight out of the cold tap. Once you’ve run it for long enough that it won’t scold you, you can shower in it. Which you’ll need to do at least three times a day.
  2. Let the gas in the BBQ bottle run out? Tut, tut. But you’re in luck. The hot plate is now solar heated so all you have to do is throw the snags on and come back in 30 minutes and hey presto! Done to a T.
  3. Why spend money on expensive health club memberships when there’s a sauna outside your front door. Go outside wearing drill pants, a long sleeve shirt and sturdy boots and within seconds you’ll be sweating up a treat. The pores of your skin will never have been so clean. Need to turn up the dial a bit? No problems, just move around a little, a leisurely stroll to the mail box and back should have you ready to drop in no time.
  4. Cancel that expensive Mediterranean holiday because the siesta lifestyle is happening in your own back yard. Between 12 and 6pm there’s an unofficial work shut down. It’s too hot to work so relax in air conditioned comfort and wait for things to cool off to a more pleasant 37˚C when you can finish stripping down that engine block in the shed.
  5. People in the city pay good money to take the kids to the zoo to see animals. Out here all you do is turn on a sprinkler. Once the water has stopped burning the grass the locals arrive for a refreshing dip. The blighters are so heat stressed you’ll have a menagerie of Australian fauna icons competing for every drop in no time.

My posts might be subject to some artistic license. If I say it was 30˚C at 6am yesterday when I got up to go for a walk, I’m obviously exaggerating, the real temp according to the Bureau of Meteorology was 27.8˚C (82˚F). So spare a thought for the residents of Birdsville, were it really was 30.2 (86.3˚F) and climbing…fast.

Even the locals are feeling it.